People that stop being jealous of other people’s success do two things very well:
First, they start living a more fulfilled life full of meaning and purpose.
Second, they put 100% of their effort into their own life and not wasting their thoughts (and time).
Looking Back Through The Looking Glass
“How can one stop comparing their success to others and stop the jealousy for good?”
…That’s what I am about to share with you today.
But, first a quick story…
… A story about where my life was when I was always comparing my success to others trying to measure up to them.
A story about me always trying to satisfy my “ego” which 100% of the time left me feeling Jealous and resentful.
Years ago I was a sucker to my ego, an ego that was always trying to fill an unifiable black hole of why I should be successful.
I was extremely jealous of others around me…
…All of which seemed to hit it big when I was stuck in my life and business wishing I was them.
Success is a bitch at times and here’s why:
There is no one looking out for you to make sure “you get what you deserve.”
I would know because I was waiting for my ticket to success. I thought in my mind I earned it dammit! Where was my golden Willy Wonka Ticket!
When I look back through the looking glass, I see now all the stuff I should not have been doing.
Time is something you can’t get put back into your life once you use it. And yet many of us tend to waste our time on meaningless stuff like seeing how we stack up to others.
I went years and years giving people the mental finger to their success because I was mad that I didn’t have what they had.
Think about it…
…I was flat out furious about my competitors and even my own friends as to why they had more than myself.
I was mad at competitors because they had more followers, had more sales, and I was even mad when what they were doing seemed to work effortlessly for them.
I’m sure you’ve been in the same position just like I have.
In a Digital world where we’re all sounded by who has the biggest house, bank account, fan base, and everything else. It can become almost impossible not to be jealous.
Here are the steps that you should follow on how to stop being jealous of others success.
Step 1: Stop Blaming Others
Here’s the bottom line truth:
No one (or the universe) owes you anything, and you should never wait around for success to “serve you.”
I remember the time where I use to blame everyone for my misfortunes.
No one is to blame except yourself.
It’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth.
Here’s another truth that you need to understand: All blame is a waste of time.
People are always blaming their circumstances for what’s happened in the past or what’s going on in their life.
It’s the biggest waste of time EVER!
You can spend the next decade on blaming someone for your problems, but no one is to blame for you spending all that time blaming someone else (wow that was a mouthful).
Isn’t it just sad to see though?
We all know someone who will never admit it’s them that’s causing the problem.
We’ve all seen those types of people where everything around them could be going right and still; they’re cynical as hell living in the past.
I am guilty of blaming. No one is perfect.
However, you just like I should just move on.
The past can’t be changed.
Let it go.
Even though shit does happen to the best of us, nothing we do can change our past. Decide once and for all to leave the past in the past and move on.
Step 2: Stop Trying to Measure Yourself up to Others
Success Isn’t About Money, Fame, or Any One Thing.
Life would be kinda easy if all it came down to is who had the biggest “fill in the blank”.
I mean if all we had to worry about were who had the most money I am sure life would be simple. Yea right!
You might be wondering:
If I were to have as much money as this person or that person life would be bliss.
Does it really all come down to money? Surely it must just be all about money, right? Not even close. Not by a million miles.
First and foremost anyone that tells you life is about stacking up money, and nothing except more money is a fool.
Well… unless you’re Mr Scrooge:
Swimming in an endless sea of money is pretty cool, but you’ll get bored of it after time.
It’s sad to think of the many people who seemed to have it all, but in their own mind and life were miserable.
Here’s a few to name:
Marilyn Monroe — was one of the 20th century’s biggest sex symbols and one of the most iconic figures in American culture. However, by most accounts, she lived a sad, if not disturbing, private life.
Cory Monteith — was on a successful television show “Glee,” and he had a great singing voice. He was worth millions at the time of his death, had plenty of wealth and fame in his life, but none of which helped him through his personal struggles.
Now there are plenty of people who had millions in their wealth, but millions might not seem like much to most. Maybe if only they had billions?
Surly they would still be happy. Right?
Let’s take a look at someone who is within the top ten richest people in throughout time shall we.
King Solomon — Solomon was the third king that ruled all of Israel.
Each year Solomon received hundreds of talents of gold. In today’s money, the value would amount to billions of dollars. Everything Solomon’s used (drinking vessels, plates, and eating utensils) were all of pure gold.
The dude also had his seven hundred wives and 300 concubines to keep him company on rainy days. WTF!?!?!!??
No one on earth (before or since) has had the wealth that was given to King Solomon.
With all the glory and wealth (plus all his wives/concubines) what more could one ask for?
With what would seem like an abundance life Solomon had he was not happy, to say the least.
Solomon’s downfall is simple: lust, pride of life, and ego.
It was stated many times by Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes, the word “vanity”.
The word vanity means “senseless, empty, and worthless.”
Solomon more or less summed up his entire life just as the word vanity is defined “senseless, empty, and worthless.”
Most of what Solomon can be seen as greed.
The rich/famous isn’t a life you should be jealous of (or envy).
I could list out countless people who had plenty of money and live unhappily ever after.
However, I think you get the point here with the three people above.
You should fear the lives of the super rich because almost all people that only seek money are extremely unhappy.
Pride, envy, and jealousy are the same side of a coin (if there were such a thing as a three-sided coin, you get my point through).
Don’t get me wrong money can make your life more colorful, but it’s not an end to all means.
If money isn’t the ultimate form of happiness then what is?
I believe (and the research shows) it’s having a… purpose.
Without purpose, life is an empty black hole.
Step 3: Your True Purpose = Happiness
You’ve seen a poor man happy and a rich man sad.
Why does this happen?
One word: Purpose.
In everything I’ve learned in my life, business, books, and everything I come to learn: without purpose time is nothing but wasted.The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others. —Albert… Click To Tweet
In short: Purpose = Happiness
I think that true happiness is having a purpose so this I know is true:
True Happiness = Abundance
Abundance is a great thing if I do say.
I also think that true happiness and purpose are one within the same.
True Happiness (Purpose) = Abundance
Nothing you can buy will give you the feeling of true purpose. So… stop trying to fill your purpose with possessions.
If you’re like me after going through a shit storm of being mad at the world you’ll know that having purpose is an infinity of happiness.
No one can take from you what you think in your mind.
All that most people do with their mind is fill it with meaningless crap.
Only you can decide what stays and what goes.
I choose to let go of most the stuff (crap) that’s floating around in our modern world.
A key place that most unhappy people look for happiness is:
In their next purchase.
In their next big payday (or any payday).
In their next lover.
None of these work for long-term happiness.
Material things can and will not fill your deepest hearts desires.
If you think true happiness lies in you purchasing things with plastic cards to make you happy you’re never going to feel content.
In fact, the opposite is true:
Most people like to spend time on things that cost nothing.
Going for a walk, time with others, meditating, and even watching the sun rise (which are all free).
The fact is that anything someone purchases will fade away after time.
Possessions require maintenance. Never forget that.
Step 4: Every Inch Matters (Daily Actions)
We’ve all been guilty of seeing someone fit and wished we could be like them. We see those who seem to get there almost overnight (at least it seems that way).
Well… we say to ourselves “how is that even possible”.
It’s simple to chase success, greatness, and have abundance in your life.
The bad news:
That shit doesn’t happen overnight.
Passion + Daily Action (dedication) = Purposeful Life
Success to me is something that you never stop moving towards.
For example, if I hit a big milestone in my life I then set another goal.
When I look back on my life I first started my business with the vision to just help some people. Well, soon I found out that “some people” isn’t much of a goal, let alone a number.
I told myself I wanted to help just one person.
Just one person…
…I wanted to help one person pass the struggles I had in my life, to just not have to endure the pain, frustration, and setbacks I had.
After I had helped one, I said to myself.. Now let’s jump that number to ten, then hundred, then a thousand, and ten thousand.
As you can see, I have a purpose to serve, guide, and above all give my finding to others. Not for the sake of making more, but to just do.
I share the good, the bad, and the ugly.
All three help people to avoid the bad moves that will get them no where.
Money is an outcome of what I’ve created, but it’s not the driving factor.
Success is different for everyone and for me to say success is the same for everyone I would be wrong.
What I do know is that success isn’t about being mad at others for finding it.
Also, you being mad towards others success will not fast track you towards success either.
So what’s next?
Step 5: Replace Jealously and Your Next Move.
Knowing all the signs, you’ve just read in this post will now give you the ability to replace and change your life starting today.
It gets better/worse though:
You have to get out of your ego mindset.
Replace Jealously with compassion
Replace Jealously with being gratefulness
Replace Jealously with learning
That last one can be confusing to some “Replace Jealously with learning?”
What do you mean by “learning?”
Let me explain:
When you’re jealous of someone else take a deep hard look at their past.
You might just learn a thing or two.
Everyone struggles and 99% of the time they worked their butt off to get what they have.
Learn from their mistakes and avoid their failures.
On the subject of money, there’s is a great book called Profit First by Mike Michalowicz
In the book, he tells a great story as to why most businesses fail when it comes to the subject of money, and it’s because we’re all to frugal among other things.
Money is a tool, and it can control you, or you can control it.
More important thing to remember about money is that: money is a tool, and it will work for you, or you can work for money.
Let your jealousy towards others money only be your inspiration. Far more than success our heart desire significance because significance last forever.Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt… Click To Tweet
Seek to serve others because when you put others before you then you will truly see the way life was intended to be lived.
When you serve, and above all give without wanting something in return you will become free of jealousy towards other people’s success.
Rather, you will only become inspired by those who have reached unimaginable heights of success.
I’ve always believed that if you want to make million dollars, then you need to solve a big problem for millions of people.
Surely it’s easy to make a million, but without purpose, you will most likely lose it just as fast as you made it.
On the flip side, if you seek to help a million people you will probably make millions.
And those millions you make will stick around for years and only add to your fire of purpose.
Thanks so much for reading.
Please share with me in the comments below what your life purpose is because I would love to connect with you. I will personally write you back in the comments section.
Tell me how you’re going to change the world and what you’re doing right now to make your dreams and goals happen.
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Until next time I wish you nothing less than true success.
Remember this: success is only measured by you and not by someone else. Put others first and have purpose with everything you put your time into.
Scott “success is yours” Hurtado